Your Ex Begins Dating Again - Your Opening Moves
Nothing stings more than watching your ex start dating again while you were still making efforts to get them back. The rejection of breaking up is nothing compared to the overwhelming sense of hopelessness felt once you realize that your ex might very well be gone for good. When you first hear the news, it can be absolutely crushing.
But before you get overwhelmed by the situation, understand that your ex moving on is actually a natural part of the break up process. In most cases, it can even be used to your advantage, especially when it comes to getting them back.
Depending upon how quickly an ex boyfriend or girlfriend moves on after breaking up with you, and how deeply involved they get with this new person, you can tell whether or not your ex is in a temporary rebound relationship or if they're actually developing feelings for their new boyfriend or girlfriend. This helps you determine how best to handle the whole scenario.
Winning Your Ex Back Regardless of Their Dating Situation
The first thing to realize is this: love is love. If your ex wants you back, they're certainly going to date you again. The fact that your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend now has a new love interest doesn't mean half as much as you think it does, in the grand scheme of things. For this reason, your attempts to win back the person you love will be very similar to reversing any other break up: if you can make your ex want you again, it won't be long before they're back in your arms.
Although winning or even stealing your ex away from his or her new girlfriend or boyfriend might seem like an unlikely prospect, try to remember how strong your feelings were in the very beginning of your relationship. Back then, the two of you likely shared bonds that were unbreakable. And as you dated, those bonds were strengthened. Together, you forged ahead and made a relationship for yourselves. Even more than that, you made a history. You shared great times and fun places together, and those memories will live on within your ex's own mind just as they live on within yours.
Getting back your ex is all a matter of creating that same atmosphere again. When you can put your ex into that same place he or she once was, they're going to experience those same feelings. Understand that regardless of how things might seem right now, your ex still has very strong emotional attachments to you. They might be surpressing that attachment in order to carry on a new relationship, but those feelings are still there.
Step 1 To Getting an Ex Back: Acceptance and Withdrawal
The first step in getting back together with any ex boyfriend or girlfriend is always the same: fully accepting the end of your relationship. This sounds simple, but in many cases it's not. People tend to hold onto things they don't want to end, and often choose to ignore the truth: the romance you and your ex had is finally over.
If it helps, you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that you'll be working to build a brand new relationship with your ex (and one that will be stronger than ever). But for right now? Accepting the end of things will actually accelerate the reconciliation process. The sooner you can let go of the past, the faster you can get on with the future.
Think about it this way: an ex who believes you're still chasing after them is likely going to avoid you - especially if they just started a new relationship. In the beginning stages of your ex's new romance, they're going to be looking very carefully for a reaction from you. Fall to pieces right now, and your ex will remember it. Start going postal, and your ex will resent it. For these reasons you can't fight or fall apart - you must remain impassive.
By handling the whole situation maturely right now, you maintain your ex's level of respect for you. This will go a long way toward getting them back during the later steps of the reconciliation process, when you will use these reinsertion techniques to place yourself back into your ex's line of sight.
Letting Your Ex Know You've Accepted The Situation
Once you've wrestled your emotions and have them under control, it's time to let your ex know that you're no longer fighting the break up. This isn't the time to call your ex or wish them luck with their new relationship, but there's nothing wrong with making yourself temporarily visible, just to show them that you're fine with things.
The best reaction you can give your ex boyfriend or girlfriend right now is none at all; get on with your life as if nothing is wrong, doing the same things you've always done. Don't retreat into the comfort of your bedroom for days on end, or you'll look hopelessly depressed. At the same time, don't overly act as if you're happy about everything going on in the world.
You want to demonstrate acceptance, and then withdraw from sight for a while as you go about doing your own thing. This means dropping every single form of communication you currently have with your ex, whether it be phone calls, emails, IM's, text-messages, fax-machines, or anything else you might be doing.
Once you've done these things, it's time to move onto Step 2:
Waiting Out the Beginning of Your Ex's New Relationship.
- Step 1: Demonstrating Acceptance & Withdrawal
- Step 2: Waiting Out The Honeymoon Phase of Your Ex's New Romance
- Step 3: Reconnecting Secretly With Your Ex
- Step 4: Establishing New Trust and Friendship
- Step 5: Setting Up a Reunion With Your Ex
- Step 6: Using Your Past History To Draw Out Your Ex's Feelings & Emotions
- Step 7: Undermining The Foundation of Your Ex's New Relationship
- Step 8: Getting Back Together With Your Ex
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