Step 4: Neutral Trust & Secret Friendship With Your Ex

In stealing your ex back from their new boyfriend or girlfriend, you'll need some unorthodox moves. One of them involves establishing a sort of secret friendship with your ex in order to reinsert yourself into their life again. But before you can do this, you first have to earn their trust.

Winning Ex Back

When you and your ex begin reconnecting, it will be small at first. Your initial little back-and-forth emails should turn into longer, more detailed responses. This is because your ex is curious about you, but he or she is also glad to hear from you at this point. They probably already had their first (or second) fight with the new person they're dating, and you're a familiar and friendly face. Hopefully, you also walked calmly and respectfuly away from the original break up, demonstrating that you can be mature and cool about the fact that your ex has already moved on.

These things will all help your ex trust you. The last piece of the puzzle involves never ever badmouthing your ex's new relationship. No matter how much you might hate your ex's new boyfriend or girlfriend, you need to bite your tongue and steer clear of saying anything bad about them. You don't have to sing their praises - especially if your praises would sound insincere - but you do need to avoid slamming them with negativity or insults. This would lead your ex to think you're still fiercely jealous, and rightly so.

Respecting Your Ex's Wishes When it Comes to Contact

Your ex started dating again, and you are no longer in a relationship with them. For this reason, he or she may only contact you sporadically. If they call, it might be at off hours when their boyfriend or girlfriend isn't around. The biggest mistake you can make here is to resent this. Some people can't handle "2nd place" after being a priority in their ex's life for so long... but you must endure it if you want your plan to work. Ultimately, all the contact you're making will help you get your ex interested in you again. Eventually this will swing them back in your direction, causing your ex to leave the new person they're currently dating.

By not saying a single bad thing about your ex's new lover and by always being cool with the limited times that your ex manages to contact you? You're building a solid foundation of trust. When your ex begins to trust you he or she will begin to open up more and more, giving you a glimpse inside of his or her new life... and new relationship. This will be extremely helpful to you later on, when you begin following the 5-Phase System to turning your ex's feelings and emotions back in your direction.

When Your Ex Talks About His or Her New Relationship

Eventually, your ex will begin opening up about their new boyfriend or girlfriend to you. They'll do this tentatively at first, to gauge your reaction. Here's where you need to be neutral: listen to your ex's issues or problems, but don't be too quick to agree with them. Sometimes your ex will just want to get things off his or her chest, and if you use this as an opportunity to bash their new romance, your ex will stop mentioning these things in the future.

Ex Boyfriend Email

Gaining trust in this aspect of your new secret friendship is important to your overall game. When your ex finally sees that you're not jealous or hurt by them talking about their new relationship, that final piece of the puzzle falls into place.

This is when your ex will be completely comfortable around you... comfortable enough to eventually want to see you. Making your ex feel as if he or she can come to you with any problem at any time will go a long way toward repairing whatever rift is left between you. You're bonding emotionally here, in place of any physical connection.

You've got several things going for you at this point. One, if your ex is involved in a rebound relationship, it's probably reaching the final stages. The magic of the romance has worn off, and reality is setting in. Second, you're providing an old and familiar level of comfort that your ex hasn't had in several weeks. Your ex will begin thinking about your relationship, about you, and about how much they actually miss seeing you. By becoming a neutral sounding board for life's everyday issues, you're getting your ex reconnected to you on a level where they feel safe and comfortable in saying just about anything to you. Your exgirlfriend or exboyfriend is eventually going to want to physically see you again.

How To Meet Up With Your Ex Girlfriend or Boyfriend

By creating an atmosphere of comfort and trust, you're actually making your ex depend on you again. Needing to physically see you will be the next step, and there are easy ways you can help them along with the idea:

T.W. Jackson Magic of Making Up

Setting Up a Reunion Date With Your Ex.

Now if you're having trouble getting to this phase of the reconciliation process, you may need to use other reconnection tools to help influence your ex's response to you.

Hands down, one of the best methods for re-opening the lines of communication between you and your ex can be learned simply by watching the FREE video at: The Magic of Making Up.

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