Step 7: Undermining Your Ex's Romance To Get Them Back
While this step may seem more like sabotage than an honest attempt to get your ex back, it actually involves a singular approach: making your ex realize that they'd rather be with you than with the person they're currently dating. There are several good ways to accomplish this, and when combined together, they should bring your ex around rather quickly.
If you've gotten this far into the process of reconcilation, you've done well. But the hardest part of winning an ex boyfriend or girlfriend back from another person is still ahead: actually getting them to take that final step. Making your ex commit to dating you again is like asking them to take a leap of faith... and your ex won't be willing to take that leap until he or she knows that you're serious about being together again.
Once again, creating an environment in which your ex trusts you is important. You ex needs to feel comfortable and safe, too. When all of these things fall into place, your ex will begin wondering whether the grass really isn't greener on that other side of the fence. With a little convincing on your part, and by utilizing the 5-Phase System of Emotional Recovery, your ex boyfriend or girlfriend will begin visualizing a life with you again - only this time one in which the two of you stay together forever instead of breaking back apart.
Getting Your Ex To Let Go of Their Current Relationship
Before your ex will want you back, they'll need to know what they're coming back to. So far, you haven't discussed your break up or any potential new relationship with them. Now's the time however, to let your ex know exactly how you feel about them.
Tell your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend that you still do love them, and wish things could've worked out between you. Then, offer to make things right if given another shot. Let your ex know that although their friendship is valuable to you, having them back as boyfriend or girlfriend means a whole lot more. Your ex needs to know where you stand before they'll consider giving up what they have right now.
The Different Ways That Your Ex Will Come Back To You
There are two ways your ex will come back to you when they're dating somebody else. The first one is rather simple, but the second one may involve some heartache on your part.
In some cases, your ex will eventually realize he or she loves and wants you again. For you, this is the ideal situation. They'll make sure you're serious about getting back together, and at that point your ex will begin breaking up with their current love interest. This process may be quick and easy or slow and painful, depending upon how badly your ex's new boyfriend or girlfriend fights to keep them around. But whenever an ex is willing to abandon their new relationship to be with you? It's a good sign they're already hooked.
What To Do When Your Ex Starts Sleeping With You Again
In other instances however, your ex will fall back in love with you secretly... while still trying to maintain a relationship with the person they're now dating. As your connection makes the natural progression back to sex, they essentially begin cheating on their new lover with you.
During this time your ex will call you, meet you, and even sleep with you while trying to decide "what to do" about everything. An ex taking this route isn't sure of what they want, so they're playing both sides of the field in order to determine which is better.
If you're not careful here, you could easily get hurt. In some cases an ex will have sex with you while still trying to maintain their new relationship, causing you confusion and crushing your hopes of getting back with them. Other times an ex will need additional time letting go of their new partner, but in the meantime their physical attraction to you is too strong to bear. Whenever sleeping with an ex girlfriend or boyfriend who's got a new relationship going, you must be extremely careful - not only of your own feelings, but of getting discovered by the person your ex is cheating with you on.
One thing to keep in mind here is patience. Try to understand that you're in this thing for the long haul, and that your ex may need some time to break up with his or her rebound fling. Don't allow your ex to use or abuse your feelings for them, but definitely be tolerant of any reasonable timetable. You wanted your ex back and you've almost got them - letting them come back to you at this point is an important part of keeping them later on.
What To Do When Your Ex Won't Let Their Rebound Go
In the event an ex isn't ready to let go of their rebound relationship, you still have several options. An ex who's enjoying being with both you and his or her new lover can sometimes play that situation out longer than normal because they're enjoying the extra attention (not to mention the excitement of cheating). This type of scenario can eventually breed resentment, so you need to correct it quickly when it happens.
The Magic of Making Up by T.W. Jackson contains detailed information on how to get your ex to commit fully back to you, with special emphasis on what to do if they're still dating somebody else.
By learning the all the right moves during this crucial stage of getting back together, you can turn your ex's attention fully back to you and get them to leave their new romance for good.
Final Steps To Getting Your Ex Back
Once your ex has committed to giving your relationship another shot, you're ready to move on to the last step of the reconciliation process:
- Step 1: Demonstrating Acceptance & Withdrawal
- Step 2: Waiting Out The Honeymoon Phase of Your Ex's New Romance
- Step 3: Reconnecting Secretly With Your Ex
- Step 4: Establishing New Trust and Friendship
- Step 5: Setting Up a Reunion With Your Ex
- Step 6: Using Your Past History To Draw Out Your Ex's Feelings & Emotions
- Step 7: Undermining The Foundation of Your Ex's New Relationship
- Step 8: Getting Back Together With Your Ex
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