Step 5: The Reunion Date - Secretly Meeting With Your Ex
The first time you see your ex after breaking up will be fun and exciting, but you'll also be nervous. You'll need to know exactly how to set up such a meeting, and how to act on your reunion date so that you don't blow it. In trying to win your ex back from someone else, there are some distinct rules here.
Obviously, any type of meeting you have with your ex will be risky for them. In order for your ex to feel comfortable, you'll need to meet somewhere that he or she feels totally confident they won't be noticed by anyone else. For this reason you should suggest a neutral and casual location that's not going to cause concern. And if your ex suggests a place? Always go with it.
Your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend may be excited to see you again, but at this point they'll start to feel as if they're sneaking around. Up until now, they've rationalize that emailing and calling you from time to time was not that big of a deal. In seeing you however, they may feel differently. You'll need to make your ex feel comfortable here, and this means making your reunion date as short, casual, and fun as you possibly can.
When Should You Suggest Meeting With Your Ex?
You'll usually know when the time is right for a physical, face-to-face meeting. You and your ex should be in pretty constant contact (even if it's via email or text-messages), and you should be feeling a positive response from them. Your ex should also be initiating such contact; this alone is a sure sign of interest.
If your ex is only responding to calls or emails that you're sending? You need to develop a slightly closer attachment before attempting the reunion date. There are some great methods for getting your ex to rely on calling and talking to you again. For the best of them, check out the Instant Reconnection Techniques found here.
How To Suggest Seeing Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend
The best way of initiating a meeting between you and your ex is to come right out and say it. But before you do, there's a really cool technique that almost guarantees success in getting your ex to say 'yes'.
First, you'll need to withdraw slightly from the communication the two of you have been having. Next time your ex calls? Let it go to the answering machine. Next time your ex emails you? Don't respond for two or three days. By pulling this little disappearing act, your ex will suddenly wonder what's up. He or she will wonder if anything has changed. Usually they'll follow up with another email or call, asking if you got their first message... and that's when you call them back and tell them:
"Whew! Sorry, things have just been really busy. I've got so much to tell you... we should just grab lunch or something. Cool?"
Any ex boyfriend or girlfriend who's been in back-and-forth communication with you will usually jump at this chance, even when they're already dating again. Your ex will be missing you, worried because they didn't hear back from you right away, and curious to know why you've been so busy. And the casual way in which you suggested a simple lunch date was natural and sincere. You ex will immediately start searching for a day to meet up with you, and you should let them pick whichever date and time they want.
The Rules of The Reunion Date: Meeting Your Ex Again
A successful renuion date will go miles and miles toward putting your ex back in your arms again. Executed successfully, you'll reignite the old physical chemistry between you and create a scenario in which your ex can't wait to see you again. But fail to pull it off the right way... and you could be back at square one.
The key to seeing your ex for the first time after the break up: comfort. Make sure you've chosen a place where you and your ex can relax, like a simple resturant or coffee house. You don't want anything fancy, or anything that's going to take any length of time, because your goal here is to get in, make a great impression, and get out... leaving your ex wanting more.
Never choose dinner as a reunion date. It's too long, and it leaves the awkward question as to where (and if) the two of you should go someplace afterwards. Lunch or coffee is short and sweet, and leaves the both of you free to get on with your day. Always go this route, especially the first time you meet up with your ex.
What To Talk About... And What To Avoid at All Costs
During your reunion, the two of you will be nervous to see each other. Try to get past this, because you want to put forth an air of cool confidence here. You also want to make the date fun, or you won't get another one. To do this, you need to keep the conversation limited to subjects that are light and easy... nothing heavy or negative.
For this reason, you should never talk about your break up. Avoiding this subject is cataclysmically important, and you need to steer clear of it. Don't talk about your ex's new boyfriend or girlfriend unless they bring it up, and if they do you should be totally cool with it. Also try to let your ex do most of the talking. This accomplishes two things: one, you won't make any major mistakes or be at a loss for words, and two, you won't reveal too much about your own situation - leaving your ex walking away and wanting to know more.
You can talk about your past history together, as long as you're bringing up the good parts and not the bad ones. Anything the two of you did together that was a really great memory for you? Work it into the conversation if you can, but don't push it. The best advice here is to let your ex control the conversation and just sort of go with it. Ask your ex about work, school, or family... but not about their new relationship. Try to keep things fun, casual, and easy. The two of you haven't seen each other in a long while, so there should be much to talk about.
Ending The Reunion Date - Making a Quick Exit
Your lunch shouldn't go more than an hour, and forty-five minutes would be better. Reconnecting with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend when they're dating somebody else is a step-by-step process, and you can't jump too many steps at once. The first time you see each other after the break up will be a little awkward, but the next time will be better. The time after that will be even more comfortable, and you can make the date longer. Your goal is to create an atmopshere where your ex loves seeing and talking to you, and also where they feel comfortable and safe. This will ensure that they have a need to see you again, and soon too.
Once you've accomplished a successful reunion date with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend, the next step in the process involves getting them to want you again. This is covered in Step 6:
What To Do If You're Having Trouble Reconnecting
If your ex balks at the idea of meeting up with you, or you're having difficulty establishing consistent communication with them, you'll need to push a little harder on their emotional hot buttons.
The absolute MASTER of this technique is a man by the name of Matt Huston. His Ex Boyfriend and Ex Girlfriend-specific guides to getting your ex back are designed to work in any situation, with special exceptions made for when your ex is dating someone else.
Check out his FREE audio advice at either of the links below:
For Men: The EX2 System
For Women: Get Him Back Forever
- Step 1: Demonstrating Acceptance & Withdrawal
- Step 2: Waiting Out The Honeymoon Phase of Your Ex's New Romance
- Step 3: Reconnecting Secretly With Your Ex
- Step 4: Establishing New Trust and Friendship
- Step 5: Setting Up a Reunion With Your Ex
- Step 6: Using Your Past History To Draw Out Your Ex's Feelings & Emotions
- Step 7: Undermining The Foundation of Your Ex's New Relationship
- Step 8: Getting Back Together With Your Ex
Join the thousands of couples who've already gotten back together using the incredible
Other Great Relationship Resources:
Learn how to sweep in and steal your ex back from anyone else, no matter how long they've been dating this new person!
Learn what the
EX BACK SYSTEM
can do for you!
Last Month's Featured Relationship Guide:
Find out why
THE MAGIC OF MAKING UP
has become the
#1 Most Popular downloadable breakup resource online!
Look up any cellphone number!